Our congregation has been asked this week to ponder that question - What is my story? In the spiritual sense, I don't think my story could keep a captive audience. I didn't grow up with "a mess." I grew up knowing Jesus, even though by my age of about nine, my family no longer attended a church. I drove myself to church once I got my driver's license at seventeen. I've had no horrific life events to say that this or that changed me. I grew up in a modest home, with a loving family (Ok, sisters fight, but otherwise...), extended family nearby, a great childhood, took music lessons, played sports. Ho hum, ho hum, ho hum. Have I lost you yet?
If you are bible reader, then you may know Ephesians 2:10 - For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. In other words, we are God's masterpiece, and our story isn't finished if God is the author. So where am I in my story? I feel like I am still in the rough draft phase - let's write this out...no, erase that...let's edit a little bit here, change the story line a little bit there. So what if my earlier life seemed a little bit mild in comparison to others. Yes, my reviews would be different than other story's reviews. But...to where has my story line brought me today?
This is where I really need to listen to what God is writing and where He is editing. Remember - rough draft - and I mean exactly that. I am nowhere near being a final copy ready to go to print. I have a mess of pages that I would like to edit out - broken relationships, walls built up around my heart, what I see as failures in parenting, things I would like to do over, jealousy, resentment, quickness to anger....can anyone relate to THIS story yet? Have I sucked you in? I know God won't edit that out though, because those pages are a part of who I am. Perhaps those chapters stay in my story because more people can relate and understand. If I make myself out to LOOK "perfect", then not one person would continue reading to the end of story.
And yet, in all that mess, I still KNOW, feel and see God at work in my life. I see some possibilities regarding what path the next few chapters COULD go. I am not a believer of fate, but I AM a believer that God has put me in a place and time for exactly what He needs me to do. I have opportunities ahead of me to hold the hand of a person I hardly know just because she is in need of it, to mentor a group of young moms, to encourage a few people around me on a new path to health, to lead my children by example, to help a few friends with organization, to counsel. If I listen closely enough, not only will I hear God's whispers and murmurs of what He is writing, but I'll also hear the bricks to my walls being dropped one at a time. God and I work a lot alike - we clean up as we go. As each chapter begins, the edits and messes of my previous chapters are cleaned up, gathered in His palm like eraser shavings, and brushed into the trash.
I'm a work in progress. Some of you will relate, others won't. I know that where God places me, there will be a chapter unfolding that will tell another part of my story. And until the Author has decided He's finished, I'm up for the challenge.
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